 | The best of times, the worst of times It's almost 1:30 and I've got to be up in about 5 hours. I have a test tomorrow for goodness sake, this is not good. But I'm on some medication which has a side effect of making me a bit hyper and consequently I was warned that sleep could be a challenge. I guess when I take my next dose in the morning it will even out...at least I hope so.
What better to do when you can't sleep than unload some thoughts on the world. It's the best time to do it and the worst time all at the same time. (By the way, I've been sick all week which is why I'm on meds. I have an upper respiratory infection (fancy way of saying a bad cough) but I'm getting better. Thanks everyone who's been praying for me.)
I was at a restaurant today, eating of course, and there was a family with a couple of kids sitting a few tables down from me. The young boy that was there was SO out of control! I was trying to study and all I wanted to say was "Please discipline that child!" I guess I don't have a lot of room to talk, having no children of my own, but I certainly hope my children won't be that misbehaved. After thinking for a while about whether or not I could talk to these neglectful parents and coming to the conclusion that that would be extrememly unsuccessful, I thought I should write a book about parenting. Not a book about all the ways to parent children, just a book begging parents to do what their name suggests and actually be parents. But, like I said, not being a parent I'm not sure I would be well received. I'll put it in the queue for a rainy day.
I drove home from music practice and saw all of the people who were already setting up camp to stay all night at bestbuy to buy the new Playstation system when it goes on sale tomorrow. Isn't that an interesting phenomenon? If you're life is that consumed with a fantasy world of video games I think it's time to reevaluate your priorities. Can you imagine living your whole life gaming in front of a television screen or computer screen and being on your death bed? How do you think you would feel in that moment? Certainly you don't believe that you would find yourself wishing you had beaten that one game, or that you had spent more time playing. What a colossal waste of time. Tell me, what good actually comes from playing video games?
It's already halfway through the month of November. That means December is just around the corner and the year is rapidly coming to a close. Another year, another year. I have a theory that as far as time is concerned, the higher you are the faster you go. I mean by this that the higher the number on the clock the faster time goes by. When it's 2 in the afternoon time doesn't seem to go by very quickly at all. But at 11 time flies and you look at the clock and wonder what in the world happened to that wonderful night's sleep you were looking forward to. The same is true (in my theory) in the months of the year. As the year goes on the months seem tp gain momentum and go by faster and faster, with November and December being the absolute swiftest. Who would disagree that January is a really slow month?
I am going to a concert tomorrow night. It's one of my very favorite bands of all time that I've never seen live. But oh, the irony of it! I bought the tickets a couple of months ago and since then I've experienced the most interesting changes in my desires and appetites. The last concert that I went to was kind of an eye-opener for me. I realized that as much as I love music and always will, I'm beginning to outgro the underground "scene." Perhaps its the sheer explosion of it all, you know once a band is so popular that everyone likes them that it kinda makes you mad. And furthermore no one believes you when you say you liked that band before they were big. It may be that or it may just be that I'm changing as a person. I'm learning that there are such more worthwhile pursuits to give my time, effort, money, and most importantly affections. Music is beautiful and it will always be a big love of mine because it is so powerful. But it is not a god that can be worshiped, or an idol to be served. It is meant to serve the only God who is not an idol by any means. I've discovered that classical music is really the best type of music there is (I know what you're thinking..."Nerd!"), and it's the music that can be most appreciated. I guess it's like C.S. Lewis says, things only become evil when they become the measure by which we interpret the world, or the end of all pursuits. Music becomes a demon when it becomes a god. So I even thought of not going to the concert tomorrow, partly because of my lost desire but mainly because of my lack of money right now. But the tickets are not refundable so I'll go and enjoy the show. But I know that it will be the last one of that sort for a while, at least the last one I'll pay a bunch of money and drive a long way for. The last hurrah.
C.S. Lewis also says that "a man's spiritual health is exactly proportional to his love for God." I guess that's what I'm living and learning. When you fall in love with Jesus, your appetites change. You don't just change the outside motions and actions. The more you come to love Jesus the more you want to learn all you can possibly learn about Him, spend all the time you can possibly spend with Him. John Piper is right when he says that the Christian religion is not a willpower religion, it's a desire religion. You worship what it is that you desire most, because you will pour all you can into getting that thing. Loving something is taking pleasure in it, not just agreeing intellectually to its worth and beauty.
But my continual problem is putting myself in the shoes of the older brother in the prodigal son, or the place of the "good guy." It's far worse to think you're better off than most that it is to know how wretched you are. That's why it's a blessing to suffer, and to encounter all kinds of trials and sins. Otherwise we may think that we actually have something to offer to God, that we are doing Ok on our own. So count it a joy when the Father lets you see your faults and weaknesses. You can be sure that there are many, and without seeing them your soul would be in great danger.
Weak souls need Jesus (He came for the sick, not the well) and weak bodies need rest. I'm going to bed. |
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