Never leave your heart behind

Well, I can't say I didn't try...It's late and I really should be going to bed; aw, just one little post! Ok, ok, you got me.
Recently I've come into a season where I feel really revived, like the important things in my life are getting my attention. I don't really know what happened before, or what caused me to stop letting my heart be free, but I know that it feels really good to get oxygen to the heart again and let it live.
I had some people ask me the dreaded "what's your major?" question the other day; which of course was followed by my response (I guess it doesn't matter how I respond to it, they all react the same when they hear I'm an English major) and the standard "Oh...that's interesting. What do you want to do with that?" And again, it really doesn't matter what I answer, they are clearly saying that they don't think I can be a serious person and study something that isn't business or medicine. Yuck.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: I don't care how much criticism I get or how many people tell me it's a bad decision, I WILL NOT sell out and study finance or something terrible like that. Don't people realize there is more to life than corporations? If you were to ask me to choose between being Donald Trump's assistant and being an author who lives on 1/4 of his salary, there would be no hesitation at all. I won't sell out to what people say is important.

Life is important, and life is not making six figures or driving a lexus; life is taking the time to enjoy a painting, or a walk with your sister, or to know what motor oil smells like. Life is being able to sit for hours just imagining what it would be like to live in the old west in the pioneer days; life is telling your kids what it was like out there.
I just get aggravated when it seems so many people fail to see the simple, beautiful things that make life so special. Maybe it's just me; in fact, it probably is. But I am a man who has to live from the heart and I'm going to fight for that. I won't apologize either.
But even though the frustration is, well...frustrating, it makes it so much sweeter when you find a heart that beats like yours. When I meet people who are more interested in beauty than money, and want to know God with all of their heart and soul, it makes me feel alive and it feels nice to breathe and talk with other living people.
I guess I'm still figuring out how to live from the heart; I know that I don't ever want to get away from it. It seems to be a common story in our time though, the tale of the 50-year old man who once wanted to be a writer but gave it up to pursue his career; because he listened to the mocking voices around him. A huge part of your heart becomes like the west wing of an old mansion, boarded up and forgotten, never visited and never used. I don't want that to ever happen to me.
It's a hard battle to fight, but it's worth it. So many important things are worth fighting for; I pray we all have the courage to defend them.

Deep within there is a chamber
Large and spacious, filled with beauty
Wells and fountains pour forth colors
Of every shade that show us what it means to live.
Do not despise the flowing river
Though its hues are wild and tameless
Do not for fear of drowning
Die of thirst alone and dry in pale tones of black and white.

Pain, Art, and Worship

C.S. Lewis said that pain is “God’s megaphone” for getting our attention and for getting through to us. There is nothing that will expose the absolutes in life – especially the absolute core of a person –more than pain. Someone being tortured will not pretend or goof around; what they believe and what they are made of will be immediately exposed when faced with physical pain and torment. The same is true of psychological and emotional pain. There is no pretending in pain; there is no hiding the truth; pain is real and refuses to be ignored.

Pain is also something we run from. As humans, it seems to be built into our DNA to run towards comfort. We avoid situations that make us uncomfortable and we go to great lengths to ensure our maximum comfort and well-being. And yet pain still confronts us because it cannot be avoided; no matter how much we try to pursue comfort we will inevitably face pain. What happens to all of our efforts at that moment? They become a mere puff of air. I would say we do not know what we lose through our obsession with comfort and aversion to pain. Maybe an example would be helpful. If you picture life as the keel of a ship cutting through the ocean waters, you could say that the water to the right of the keel represents pain, while the water to the left represents joy. Life to the fullest (abundant life) is found at the vanguard (the very front of the keel where it slices the water). To the degree that we seek to withdraw our lives from the vanguard in order to avoid pain, we also diminish our ability to experience joy. It is not for us to decide what will come our way in life. We must say with Job, “Will we accept the good things from God and not the bad?” The bible is full of language that implies that we are to not run away from pain and suffering. In fact, the Bible even goes so far as to tell us to run toward and rejoice in suffering and pain. This is very different from our natural mindset. It takes a miracle to turn our comfort-addictions around and make us into people that will lay down our lives.

* * *

There are many arguments as to what the true meaning of art is. Some say that art is nothing more than the expression of something in the artist. Some say that art is nothing more than a perception or a thought. Some say that art is nothing. But I believe that art is a representation of a truth; a shadow or a projection onto a greater reality. In a way all of life is like this. It is all pointing to something, all leading somewhere. Art speaks to us because it represents truth to us. It cannot be only the projection of a thought from the artist; that would be meaningless to the one who sees the art. Art exposes the reality and calls out to something deep that we may not even recognize; but we are drawn to it and taken in. Life is kind of like a hologram. A hologram is a projection of light that allows an image to be seen in three dimensions. Every section of that projection, however, contains an imprint or image of the entire picture. The things in life that call out to us, the things we admire –we don’t realize most of them –are imprints of the whole; imprints of what is really true in this universe. The way trees function, the properties of water, the inward parts of the cell, the fact that I need food to survive, seventy-five thousand people packed in a stadium to watch a football game, the relationship between a husband and wife –all shadows of reality and truth. They point to reality –namely, GOD –which is why they are attractive to us. If there is no truth, there is no art.

All of things in life –whether it be a sunset, a painting, or cancer –are meant to point our eyes towards the Creator and giver of life; this is Worship. Worship is the centering of our hearts’ affection and attention upon the true and only God who does all things for His glory. We were made for this –to be captivated by the beauty of the Lord. That is what the Bible means when it says “The heavens are telling the glory of God.” All things bear the fingerprints of God in order that we might see Him and praise Him for all that He is. Pain exposes our true selves; and yet in Christ we are freed to hold onto the truth of all that He is for us. Pain only makes plain the reality that Christ is all we have and is all we need. It draws us away from self that is so complacent and distracted when it’s comfortable. Beauty and art draw us into the truth that a Creative God has made things that no other being could have conceived; He invites us to acknowledge Him and discover what life is really meant to be. Oh, that all of life would be worship! That we could be free to see His goodness in everything, without the stains of sin a pride to take away the crisp, clarity of God’s signature. But the hope that we have –and it is a hope that is sure –is that heaven will be a place where sin does not stain. In heaven we will be set free from seeing through this “glass dimly” and we will finally see “face to face” and “know, even as we are fully known.” Eternity in heaven will be an eternity of worship. This does not mean an endless repetition of “Lord I lift your name on high;” it means an unending, unimaginable eternity face to face with the God who made beauty and truth and made us to enjoy Him forever. May He hasten the day that our hearts find their home.

Reflections on Truth and Beauty

The question has been asked, “What is beauty?” and “Is there a true, or absolute, beauty?”
The saying goes, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder;” thus, in this view, the concept of beauty is completely subjective in every instance. Whether or not there is objective beauty, apart from the beholder, depends entirely upon what you believe. Your beliefs about God, Truth, Meaning, and Life will come into play significantly.
First, I want to begin with a short definition of the nature of Truth. We live in a time in which much of public thought occurs within a post-modern framework. It is difficult to prevent ALL forms of post-modern, or relativistic, thought from infiltrating the mind and affecting the thought processes (for instance, it IS true that my feelings and definitions of what a family is, for example, should be and are probably not the same as yours). But the Post-modern worldview says that nothing can be truly defined; everything is subjective to constructed norms of society, experience, and the interpretation of the individual. I can not say, according to a postmodernist, that human sacrifice in Aztec culture is wrong and immoral because I am not living in the time of the Aztecs. I am looking at the Aztec culture from my 21st-century perspective and am therefore imposing my definitions of what is right and wrong upon the historical situation. What may seem barbaric and wrong to me today was perfectly accepted as the norm 500 years ago. This severely calls into question all forms of criticism past and present. Words do not have a definitive meaning to a post-modernist, because the individual interpretations of that word are so varied there cannot be consistency. And so when we begin to talk about things that are true, we hear language like “that’s true for me,” or “this is what this means to me,” which seems to imply that to suggest a truth that is true for you and for me would be presumptuous at best.
The post-modern, relativistic worldview does not, however, fit into a biblical worldview. It is an attack on the power and dignity of the written and spoken word. Isn’t it interesting that, in a world of media, photos and video, the God of all creation has chosen to speak to us in a BOOK? What an amazing choice on God’s part! He uses WORDS! I believe that this calls Christ-followers in an age dominated by images and relativism to hold fast and defend the written word. It is through the written word that God reveals Himself to us most explicitly (The other way that God reveals Himself to us is in nature). The Bible is very clear that the WORD of God is Truth, that the word is meaningful and can be clearly understood by everyone. Jesus said “I AM the way, the truth, and the life" (John 14:6), a statement that says that God is the embodiment of Truth (Jesus is “the word became flesh” (John 1:14), THE Truth as a living, breathing God-man). So it is important to recognize that, while there are variation in our experiences of certain things, objective truth is possible, it is biblical, and it is out there.
Now we come to the subject of beauty. There are almost an infinite amount of ways that beauty can be described; almost any road you choose to go down in defining beauty ends up a dead end because you seem to end up where you started. It is one of the hardest concepts to define and yet is one of the simplest realities of life. Perhaps if we organize a few categories that we could place beauty in that may help us to understand and classify it better: Sensual Beauty (Beauty that is seen, smelled, tasted, touched), Intellectual Beauty (Beauty that is pleasing to the mind because of its order or intricacy), Emotional Beauty (Beauty of the heart; something that is felt and experienced), and finally Spiritual Beauty (Beauty that gets its value from the Truth that it embodies). The first problem that presents itself in categorizing beauty is the fact that beauty is not scientific; there are no definitive lines that we can draw to separate one category from another. So we must allow the categories to be somewhat loosely defined with some overlap within them. The second problem is that the list of categories could certainly go on and on because beauty is very unique in every form. Therefore the above list is not exhaustive. It helps us to look at things categorically because what we are looking for is what makes beauty universal; what makes it a concept that all humans can understand.
There are some things about beauty that are subjective (in the eye of the beholder). The beauty of a scene, a person, or a painting ARE dependent on the appreciation of the person looking at them. The idea of beauty is, by definition, something that pleases the beholder (or thinker). This idea, however, is not subjective because, even if someone does not find a person beautiful when I do, they still understand what I mean by my saying she is beautiful. So an easy definition to attach to beauty would be pleasure; beautiful things please the eyes, please the mind, or please the emotions. This definition serves us well to a point; but it does not help us when we come to beautiful things that are not pleasing to us. The beauty in the midst of ugliness or pain strikes us differently than beauty that is pleasurable; but this is still a form of beauty. So it follows that in addition to something pleasing we must add a second definition: beauty is value. As I said before these two definitions overlap each other because most of us value things that are pleasurable. But beauty as an expression of value is important because it helps us with the more difficult forms of beauty that we face. When I experience great pain in life it can be seen as beautiful -certainly not because it was pleasurable -but because it was a valuable agent in producing a needed result in my life. The greatest example of this is of course the example of Christ as described in Hebrews 12 who “for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising its shame.” Jesus did not enjoy the cross; he did not enjoy the physical agony of the whips and nails, nor did he enjoy the spiritual agony of separation from the father and the acceptance of the wrath of God being poured on him. But in spite of this torture, is the cross beautiful? To a believer there is nothing more beautiful than the sacrifice of our Lord. “O precious is the flow that makes me white as snow.” The precious, beautiful blood of Jesus is beautiful because it has value to redeem sinners and bring us to God (1 Peter 3:18).
I believe that all expressions of beauty can be seen in one or both of these two categories, things that are valuable and things that are pleasurable. Pleasure is subjective; not every person finds pleasure in the same things. But value is not subjective, at least if we think biblically. The Bible makes clear what is valuable when it gives instructions to how we should live. Experientially, people value things very differently (e.g. money, time, human life), the same way that different people enjoy very different things. But this brings us again to whether we will choose a postmodern worldview or a biblical one. “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has gone the new has come.” (2 Cor. 5:17) This transformation brings about a change in what brings pleasure and what we value. We no longer search for an expression of value contained within our "inner self", but we find it given to us by God in scripture. The scripture tells us what we should value and see as important, simply because it tells us what is important and valuable to God. The scripture also tells us what to find pleasure in, because God knows what will ultimately give us the most pleasure and satisfaction, namely, Himself.
God has the right to require these changes of us for 2 reasons: first, because if we are in Christ we are a new creature and no longer live the way we used to when we were lost and dead; a new-creature in Christ can do things that are "impossible with man but possible with God." Second, because He is God and has the power to command things that we cannot do on our own. His command carries with it the authority and power that will actually changes us into people that are more like Christ. So as we examine things like beauty the ultimate question is what do we believe about reality. If we believe that everything is meaningless then certainly a word like beauty will have no special traits. It will merely blend in with the rest of the meaningless universe. But if we embrace the truth that the Living God has ordered, designed, and established truth and beauty, we will be set free to live a life where all of life's questions find their answer in the source of all things beautiful.

Everybody Dreams

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Everybody Dreams Ahhhhh.....boy it feels good to have freedom. To just let the fingers fly across the keys with nothing to hold them back. If I flatter myself to think that there may be some of you out there who are faithful readers of this blog, you will need explanation as to why there have been no entries for some time now. Suffice to say my writing has been (and still is) very limited to academic subjects (mostly boring ones) and I have thus slacked off in the blog writing business. If there was a person who could describe people's feelings just the way they felt them that person would be a great writer. If there was a person who could so clearly communicate the truth as to be understood by all of his hearers that person would be a great communicator. Most people can communicate about surface things. Things people feel that are 8-10 layers away from their true insides. It seems the closer you get to the inside layers, the harder it is to attach words to what you find there. The question is, is this internal language universal? Do all people understand what it's like to yearn for things inside? Some people dream about having a lot of money. Money, however, is a foolish thing to place one's hope in. The lesson about money can be very easily learned. Imagine that you have just won $500 in a radio contest. I would certainly not be opposed to someone giving me $500. Then imagine the things you might do with $500. I would probably pay a few bills and put some money in savings, maybe buy a couple books and a new shirt or two. That's it. Couple of bills, couple of shirts, gone. I have more than a couple of books and more than a couple of shirts but I do not find ultimate happiness in them. I doubt that anything contained in a new book or a new shirt has revolutionarily become satisfying. Now increase the sum of money and sum of things gained by the money. Make it as much as you want, all the money and all the stuff will still feel the same way: empty. Some people dream to be great, to make a name fore themselves and have people cheer for them. How many people does it take to convince a person that they are great? Some people have a billion fans and still don't believe they are any good. Some people have only 1 fan (themself) and think they are the greatest. Or at least they act like they think that. I will not pretend that I know the thoughts of every person. But if every heart is human like mine is, something inside that heart is never satisfied by praise or fame. I think mostly because we know its not true, we aren't great. If we don't know it to be untrue but try to, we feel it and can't escape it. What is this dreaming? This agonizing, stretching, striving, feeling? The weight of heart and soul grind together like two millstones, striving to produce something that will be useful and worth something. We must find an end, we must find a cause, a source from which to derive and a goal towards which we strive. The unimaginable holiness of God and the essential imperative of the gospel; bringing glory to this Other-Holy Being, by whom, from whom, and through whom all things exist and were made; this giving of self despite all of self's screaming and wailing to take and hold back; the blazing desire to wake self and other from numb slumber and dullness of life into the full and radiant glory of God. This is the lot of the creation of God. This side of heaven, mankind will groan and long and strive and strain. Something, anything that might satisfy the longing within the heart. Man without God will seek the answer in anything but God. He will be gravely disappointed. Man with God, because of Christ, will continue to long and strive for that which fills the void within. The difference is that the redeemed soul knows that it has found the answer, the thing that can bring it to rest. "For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. " (Romans 8:19-25) We have only begun to taste and see. We see through the glass darkly; oneday we will see face to face. "For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known." (1 Corinthians 13:12). That is a dream that is worth holding on to; It must be held on to. Do not settle for a dream that will leave your heart empty. If you do not have Christ, come to Him; nothing else in all the world will fill your heart like Him. If you have Christ, keep you eyes on HIM and dream. "If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." Colossians 3:1-4

The best of times...

Friday, November 17, 2006

The best of times, the worst of times It's almost 1:30 and I've got to be up in about 5 hours. I have a test tomorrow for goodness sake, this is not good. But I'm on some medication which has a side effect of making me a bit hyper and consequently I was warned that sleep could be a challenge. I guess when I take my next dose in the morning it will even out...at least I hope so. What better to do when you can't sleep than unload some thoughts on the world. It's the best time to do it and the worst time all at the same time. (By the way, I've been sick all week which is why I'm on meds. I have an upper respiratory infection (fancy way of saying a bad cough) but I'm getting better. Thanks everyone who's been praying for me.) I was at a restaurant today, eating of course, and there was a family with a couple of kids sitting a few tables down from me. The young boy that was there was SO out of control! I was trying to study and all I wanted to say was "Please discipline that child!" I guess I don't have a lot of room to talk, having no children of my own, but I certainly hope my children won't be that misbehaved. After thinking for a while about whether or not I could talk to these neglectful parents and coming to the conclusion that that would be extrememly unsuccessful, I thought I should write a book about parenting. Not a book about all the ways to parent children, just a book begging parents to do what their name suggests and actually be parents. But, like I said, not being a parent I'm not sure I would be well received. I'll put it in the queue for a rainy day. I drove home from music practice and saw all of the people who were already setting up camp to stay all night at bestbuy to buy the new Playstation system when it goes on sale tomorrow. Isn't that an interesting phenomenon? If you're life is that consumed with a fantasy world of video games I think it's time to reevaluate your priorities. Can you imagine living your whole life gaming in front of a television screen or computer screen and being on your death bed? How do you think you would feel in that moment? Certainly you don't believe that you would find yourself wishing you had beaten that one game, or that you had spent more time playing. What a colossal waste of time. Tell me, what good actually comes from playing video games? It's already halfway through the month of November. That means December is just around the corner and the year is rapidly coming to a close. Another year, another year. I have a theory that as far as time is concerned, the higher you are the faster you go. I mean by this that the higher the number on the clock the faster time goes by. When it's 2 in the afternoon time doesn't seem to go by very quickly at all. But at 11 time flies and you look at the clock and wonder what in the world happened to that wonderful night's sleep you were looking forward to. The same is true (in my theory) in the months of the year. As the year goes on the months seem tp gain momentum and go by faster and faster, with November and December being the absolute swiftest. Who would disagree that January is a really slow month? I am going to a concert tomorrow night. It's one of my very favorite bands of all time that I've never seen live. But oh, the irony of it! I bought the tickets a couple of months ago and since then I've experienced the most interesting changes in my desires and appetites. The last concert that I went to was kind of an eye-opener for me. I realized that as much as I love music and always will, I'm beginning to outgro the underground "scene." Perhaps its the sheer explosion of it all, you know once a band is so popular that everyone likes them that it kinda makes you mad. And furthermore no one believes you when you say you liked that band before they were big. It may be that or it may just be that I'm changing as a person. I'm learning that there are such more worthwhile pursuits to give my time, effort, money, and most importantly affections. Music is beautiful and it will always be a big love of mine because it is so powerful. But it is not a god that can be worshiped, or an idol to be served. It is meant to serve the only God who is not an idol by any means. I've discovered that classical music is really the best type of music there is (I know what you're thinking..."Nerd!"), and it's the music that can be most appreciated. I guess it's like C.S. Lewis says, things only become evil when they become the measure by which we interpret the world, or the end of all pursuits. Music becomes a demon when it becomes a god. So I even thought of not going to the concert tomorrow, partly because of my lost desire but mainly because of my lack of money right now. But the tickets are not refundable so I'll go and enjoy the show. But I know that it will be the last one of that sort for a while, at least the last one I'll pay a bunch of money and drive a long way for. The last hurrah. C.S. Lewis also says that "a man's spiritual health is exactly proportional to his love for God." I guess that's what I'm living and learning. When you fall in love with Jesus, your appetites change. You don't just change the outside motions and actions. The more you come to love Jesus the more you want to learn all you can possibly learn about Him, spend all the time you can possibly spend with Him. John Piper is right when he says that the Christian religion is not a willpower religion, it's a desire religion. You worship what it is that you desire most, because you will pour all you can into getting that thing. Loving something is taking pleasure in it, not just agreeing intellectually to its worth and beauty. But my continual problem is putting myself in the shoes of the older brother in the prodigal son, or the place of the "good guy." It's far worse to think you're better off than most that it is to know how wretched you are. That's why it's a blessing to suffer, and to encounter all kinds of trials and sins. Otherwise we may think that we actually have something to offer to God, that we are doing Ok on our own. So count it a joy when the Father lets you see your faults and weaknesses. You can be sure that there are many, and without seeing them your soul would be in great danger. Weak souls need Jesus (He came for the sick, not the well) and weak bodies need rest. I'm going to bed.

We ask for it, do we get it?

Sunday, August 20, 2006

We ask for it, do we get it? So I've started my fall semester at school and I think it's going to be really good. I'm pretty positive that all my classes - except maybe one - will be very enjoyable and may even be easy (I don't like the idea of easy classes...let's just stick with enjoyable.). The one class I'm not sure about is composition. I know what you're thinking, because if you're reading this you must think I have some small amount of ability to write, but my teacher described how strict her standands of grading are and I must say I was a bit intimidated. I love to write, but I don't know much about MLA formatting, indentation, and what the heck is a comma splice? I don't mind difficult classes, I just hope I can learn a lot from it because I would like to become a better writer. So our first assignment in this english class is to take a look at a series of pictures each representing a decade of american pop-culture history. The pictures start off with the wizard of oz, then casablanca, elvis presly, the beatles, saturday night fever, madonna, and finally britney spears. Now you can take a lot from all of these pictures and there is a lot you could say about them. What struck me was (as was kinda the topic of discussion in class that day) the consistent downward slope of the standards of propriety and morality. The wizard of oz is a whimsical film, very innocent and fairy tale-ish. Casablanca has a scene where there's hugging, the screen fades and there are the two main characters smoking cigarettes and putting jackets back on. Scandalous. Then there's the censure of elvis because of his provacative dancing and hip girations. And on and on it goes until you have britney practically nude holding a python (and they call this entertainment....or even worse, they call it music. atrocious.). Now the steady progression is pretty self-explanatory concerning sensitive issues. The more exposed you are to something the less sensitive you are to it. We see it happening every day in our own experience and in society, in everything from sex to violence. But I noticed something else that connected the pictures to what was going on in those decades. Could it be that each popular culture icon that was paramount in its day was a response to the questions the culture was asking or the "needs" of the culture during that time? Let me explain. The wizard of oz came out during the great depression. The story is about a girl who lives on a poor farm in Kansas and is swept away to the magical land of oz, only to desperately try to return home because after all, "there's no place like home" and relationships prevail as highest in value. So one can see how that story would be appealing to people during the depression, wanting to escape and wanting hope that what they had (friends and family) really was valuable. Casablanca was during world war II and some of the themes include war, love, betrayal, and sacrificing to do the right thing. One can see the appeal of that story as well, many men hoping that honor, shivalry, and love would triumph in such desperate and trying times. As we move into the music realm we see the boundaries constantly being pushed and "expression" and "freedom" becoming so high in value. I suppose it's possible to see how the culture "needed" freedom from the "supression" of the victorian era and were happy to rebel against the cultural norms and embrace a free and open sexuality being vehemently presented through music. So one could observe that whatever is paramount in a culture represents in essence the greatest needs of that culture. Now consider our current pop-culture situation and what that says about where we are. Sex is rampant in the media - we must be a culture that has "created impotence out of our erotomania" as muggeridge said. We must be desperately hurting for true fulfillment, having suffered the destruction of free love and porno-mania. We can't seem to get enough of fantasy, comic book movies and ridiculous stories rule the cinema. We must be longing for an escape from reality, something to distract us from the pain or lonliness we feel. And yet we can't seem to get enough information about other people's personal lives, as if the drama in our own wasn't enough to keep us occupied. We must be looking for a life that's easier to fix, or one in which we can see the problems more clearly, or a life that destracts us from the awareness that our relationships aren't right. Violence and hatred rule the airwaves and the radios and kids and adults soak up filth as the soundtrack to their lives. We must not be as "civil" as we think we are, committing murder in our hearts every day by being angry at our brother (See Christs words, Matthew 5). Such is our condition, and most people don't see that these things are an indication of the greater problem of sin. Only when we see Christ and begin to understand how He means for us to live will we see that the world has everything completely turned around. This is where we end up when we try to find the answer by looking deeper and deeper inside ourselves. Surely there is nothing but wickedness in our hearts. Only when we look at Jesus and understand that we were meant to, just like the rest of creation, declare and promote the GLORY of GOD will we start to get it right. We weren't meant to make much of ourselves. We were made to make much of God. Indeed, that is the purpose of EVERYTHING. That God may receive glory for the sake of His name. "Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways! "For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor?" "Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid?" For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen. " Romans 11:33-36

Hopeless Romantic

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Hopeless romantic... "Get real man, nobody lives like that in the REAL WORLD!" - sound familiar? I hear it all the time, in my head that is. It seems like there's this constant tension between an ideal I hold up in my head and this other voice that says "what planet are you from?" Do you ever dare to hope for what could be? How do you know which will prevail, dreams or pessimistic reality? Let me give a few examples... I have these dreams that look forward to so many little things in life, and sometimes I wonder if I'm looking at life through rose colored glasses. I want to meet a girl and fall in love, and not just fall in love with her, or have her kinda sorta like me back, but the kind of falling in love that is deep and is ok. Sometimes being in love isn't ok and then it hurts a lot to convince yourself to pack up and move on. I want to fall asleep talking to her and wake up and spend the morning together, praying and having breakfast together. I want to have little kids and read them stories at night and talk to them even though they can't talk back. I want a little house on a hill with a porch and view. I want to have meals together as a family. I want to clean my house with my wife and help her do the dishes. I want to have a job that I don't hate going to but can't wait to leave so I'll be home again where life is. I want to be close enough to my family that we see each other and are involved in each other's lives. I want to have Christmas together and be friends with all my neighbors. Sometimes it seems so old fashioned to think that a life like that could be possible and you certainly don't see much of it these days. The sheer weight of responsability and paying all the bills and just getting by is overwhelming and threatens to squash all hope of happiness. I mean, who am I kidding? Am I being naive? Do I just need a dose of reality? I really want to know. Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic, complete with sunsets and poems and love songs. The problem I have with leaving the romance behind is that it completely shuts off the heart, and I don't think that's a step in the right direction. That's one reason why I don't think I could be in business or accounting. How can you live if you don't exercise your heart? I know that I need all the heart-movement I can get and I want it because without it I don't really feel alive. Hearts are deep things like proverbs says, and it's at the heart level that the most real parts of life are found. Sometimes I feel really frustrated that we as people don't engage on the heart level more. Everything is so surface and that's sad. Sometimes I feel alone and wonder if any of this will ever happen. But the cool thing is that it isn't up to me to make it happen and my hope isn't in my dreams or my plans. My hope is in God, and as long as I set my sights on Him I will never be disappointed. He speaks to the heart and answers the deepest questions I have. He gives me a reason to live even if I never get married or have kids or have a house or a real job. I'm thankful for today, and for the love I can share with my savior. That's enough. Yeah, it's that good! He is that good! He's not a god made with human hands, or a god who fits into a little box or a 6-step plan to wealth or fame. He is THE GOD who is a real person and wants relationship with me. Relationships are not predictable, and they don't happen all at once. They happen day by day, month by month, and they take a lot of time and work. I think if I could somehow grab ahold of that truth, that I'm free to let go and grow, not just in my relationship with God but with everyone, I'd be a lot better off. But I'm working on it, or I should say, God is working on me. Dare to dream; hope in God. He wants your heart to be alive.

Toffe Buzz and Hiccups

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Toffee buzz and hiccups (and heaven) I like these energy bars called "Clif bars". Tonight I was at work and in a bit of a crunch, not much time to eat a meal. So I grabbed this Clif bar called "Peanut Toffee Buzz" - that should have clued me in to pick another one. I don't really do caffeine, so of course I'm really sensitive to it. So even though I'm really tired, here I am... Then I got the hiccups. Man...But they're gone now. I have something I've been thinking about... The book of Hebrews talks about how Jesus endured the cross "for the joy set before Him" and gives several other examples of people who lived for God's glory in expectation of what was to come. That's what I've been praying for God to do in my heart, make Jesus my greatest treasure and make the hope of a heaven with Him and the joy of the wedding feast to be the thing that gives me joy today and strength to make it through whatever I face. Then I started thinking about life and how I live it. I think most people live life "for the joy set before them" - the question is, joy in what? Just think about it, what gets the average person through the day or month or year? Looking forward to the weekend, going out and partying. Looking forward to seeing your wife and kids at the end of the day. Looking forward to your summer vacation, or looking forward to reaching the top and retiring at age 52. Something has to motivate us, otherwise why would we put up with all the crap we face every day? I think that is what the apostle paul is getting at in Colossians 3 when he says to "set your mind on things above, not on earthly things." My mind is constantly looking to the horizon - "someday when I'm married...someday when I get this or that degree....someday when I'm a dad...someday when I have this or that job." Those things are all well and good. Certainly it's not wrong to have goals and desires to hope for. But the unavoidable call to "look up" and "look to heavens" and "set our sights on heaven" tells me that there's more to it. Instead of looking ahead to the horizon or just above the horizon, I need to look up to the sky and see the wonder and Glory of God. If being in heaven with Jesus is what I look forward to more than anything else, then I WILL NEVER BE DISSAPOINTED! The Bible doesn't guarantee that I'll get married, or finish school, or have all the things that I dream of. If my hope is in any of those things then I will be dissapointed, for it's pretty certain all my dreams won't come true. But if heaven is my hope, home, and treasure, then that changes everything. Then I'm in the right mind to endure suffering and you give up possesions, health, family, dreams and plans because I have an everlasting abiding inheritance. That's how I want to live. I don't have a city to call home, I don't want 'treasure' here on earth. I want heavenly treasure. I want my heavenly home. I want my heavenly Father. Be alert! Be ready! You don't want to be asleep when the wedding starts!

Don't be a baby

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Don't be a baby...be healthy Everyone LOOOOVES babies. And what's not to like? After all, babies are tiny little versions of people (small stuff is REALLY cute to us Big people. We like small dogs, small cell phones, and small cars that can drive through sewer drains.) and they are soft and cuddly. Yes, babies are such a wonderful thing...unless they aren't happy. Oh, well, then the tables turn REALLY fast. The baby goes from being the cutest thing under the sun to the one thing you would love to be far away from (at this point us single people do the wonderful single-person thing; give the baby back to its mother). We don't really think about babies as being selfish. Babies are selfish! They are THE most selfish people! It's completely fine and a natural part of life, but a baby does not consider the needs of others, a baby's only concern is itself. Babies whine and cry when they don't get their way, and will put themselves in harm's way if they are not given the proper guidance and direction. I guess this is the reason they came up with the phrase "don't be such a baby!" to tell people who are whining or wanting their own way. We aren't suprised at a baby's selfishness, we expect it. Sometimes I can be such a baby. I want what I want, when I want it-which is NOW-I don't think of others, and I don't consider that perhaps my parent is thinking of my best interest by denying my every request. (Ever think what a mess your life would be in if God granted everything you ever asked for? That's a scary thought..) Then I hear the voice of God from Ephesians chaper 4: "GROW UP!!" (author's paraphrase). I think that is a message for our generation. We want what we want when we want it and we are suprised to find that our life is ruined because of our bad decisions. So often what we call our "circumstances" in life that cause so much pain are not really circumstances, but consequences of our bad decisions (see Galatians 6 - you reap what you sow). Why is it that we seem to have such difficulty waiting on the Lord and His timing in our lives? Why is it so acceptable to be a big baby and throw a fit when I'm unhappy? I heard a story once about caterpillars. It seems that caterpillars like to follow other caterpillars around. So some scientist in a lab somewhere who had a license so he wouldn't be imprisioned for killing innocent caterpillars did a little experiment. He took a bunch of caterpillars and put them all on the rim of a plant. He then took the caterpillar's favorite food and put it inside the plant. Do you know what they did? The caterpillars walked around and around and around, following the caterpillar butt in front of them until every single caterpillar died of starvation. They were so locked in to "follow the leader" that they missed the very food that could have saved their lives. America (the american church and america in general) is a nation of babies. We are so comfortable, so focused on following the butt of the person on tv or on the front of People magazine that we miss the life we are really supposed to live. Be careful where you take your cues! Be careful what you fill your mind with and which line you fall into!If we are not dilligently on guard we will fall right in line with culture and follow what does not give life and satisfaction. And we will starve to death. God wants us to be Healthy people. Have healthy relationships, healthy bodies, healthy emotions, healthy prayer lives, healthy healthy Healthy! Jesus came that we might have life abundantly! It's not exactly popular to be healthy either. We live in a fast-paced, short-cut, "the end justifies the means" culture. We have a hard time believing that health and happiness is possible, because it's so rare to see in our day. But it IS possible. God cares about your joy and your happiness- He wants you to find it IN HIM!! Why aren't we satisfied even in the midst of our wealth and prosperity? Because it will never, NEVER satisfy us to entertain ourselves! We will never be satisfied by working for money or success or fame. The FEAST is at God's table, and He has made the way for us to eat our fill! (See Isaiah 55:1-3) It's counter culture to grow up. It's counter-culture to be mature and accept the consequences of your behaviour or to keep your word even when it brings harm to yourself. It's counter-culture to be healthy and to rejoice in suffering. Listen to what Jesus has to say; "If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you." John 15:18-19 It is becoming more and more difficult to stand up for the Truth in this Nation and in this time. It will only get worse. Babies will have a hard time putting on armour and standing against the fiery darts of the enemy. Babies don't like to suffer; Jesus suffered. He said "Take up your cross and follow me". The funny thing about growing up and about being healthy - they both require the right kind of food. God has given us His word and His Spirit as our teacher. Let's grow up and grow strong in Him! Let's press on to lay hold of that for which Christ has laid hold of us! Let's remember who and what we are following, and that we have been given EVERY spiritual blessing in the heavenly places (Ephesians 1:3)

Life is a House

Monday, March 13, 2006

Life is a house Do you ever wonder how much of what you believe is actually true? There's something strange going around in western culture today...namely, lies. The dictionary defines belief as something that one accepts as true or real. But I wonder how that shows itself in my life? What do I believe? If what I believe is simply the set of facts that I assert to be my own, my "beliefs", then I guess I could believe whatever I wanted to and it wouldn't really matter what it was. But if what I believe is communicated by my actions then it suddenly does matter what I believe (e.g. I believe in gravity, therefore I do not jump off of my roof). This is a crucial connection. I think many people are deceived into thinking they can believe whatever they want to and it is completely seperate from the rest of life. But your life cannot be seperated into seperate parts. Your life is your life. Kinda like your body. Whether its your big toe or your bicep both are part of your body and are affected by what happens in your body. Sometimes I take a little step back and look at my beliefs. I know what I believe about the big things in life, like God and Heaven and right and wrong and things like that. But sometimes I live like I believe other things. This is evidenced by what I get upset over. Sometimes I believe that I'm alone and no one can help me. Sometimes I believe that I'll never have the things that I long for. Sometimes I believe that I'll just fail. There's this being out there called Satan. What's his main specialty? Lies (John 8:44). Satan's a pretty crafty being, even though he is the enemy of our souls, and he knows how to get us in a lot of trouble if we start listening to him. He has a 2-pronged strategy; a one-two punch. First, he comes and says it doesn't matter what you do. You can get away with anything and little stuff doesn't matter. So you buy into lie ..1 and do whatever it is that "doesn't matter." Here comes ..2...Now satan says that you are the scum of the earth for doing what you just did and there is nothing you can do to fix it or make it right. What a jerk! Draw you right in and entice you, then tell you you're worthless and make you feel like complete crap once you've done it. The important thing to remember is that they are LIES. I've been thinking about the power of the truth. "You will know the truth and the truth shall set you free" (Back to John 8:32) The truth is a powerful thing. You are not alone. Don't just read this, stop and think about it. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. There is a way back. There is a way to make things right. Really. Speaking the truth takes guts. It takes knowing the truth first of all. Sadly so many are confused about what the truth is you don't hear it so much anymore. I want to be a person who speaks the truth. I love the analogy of life as a house. It's like I was saying before about compartmentalizing. Somehow I think that I can be completely irresponsible in one area of my life and not have it affect the rest of my life. There is a connectedness to life that is inescapable. If you decided to remove one room from a house and put it across the street it wouldn't still be a part of the house, it would be another house. It would be pretty small but still, another house. If one room of the house starts on fire the whole house is at risk. When I invite God into my life I must give Him access to the whole house. Who I am is all of me. The house is another great picture of our bodies as temples of God living inside of us. Lots of people live in pretty crappy houses. Some people take their houses way too seriously. What's inside of the house is much more important than the house itself. The people, the "home" that exists there is what is truly valuable. But if the house is falling apart it won't serve its purpose to protect what lives inside. Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit. Some people don't take care of themselves. Some people take the upkeep of their bodies a little too seriously. But the important thing is what's inside. The point of our bodies is to house this Spirit-man of ours and to find true life-eternal life. Eternal life is not just going to heaven when you die. It is an abundant life that starts the moment we receive Christ. So what's the point? Don't be deceived. Don't believe the lies. The truth is out there. His name is Jesus. He wants to live inside you and show you what life is really about. Won't you let Him into your house?